Wednesday 9th August

A lime green cherry in the morning with my orange juice, I wait for a plane to Thailand. This is the break I’ve been waiting for; desperately needing, secretly holding onto to cure...We queue for checking in, a typical French boy with shy forget-me-not eyes stands not far behind. To fancy someone, is too much ‘lovely’ to ever stop doing. I feel pretty today, the first time in a long time…The last time I saw M.O.M. I was crouching down in calf length tight jean skirt putting paper in his printer. He gave off this smile that came out like a bit of a laugh. I know why he made that noise. I looked like a little girl squatting at the end of a garden trying to find fairies. I like sitting in his office with him. I don’t think I can be his companion ‘we were never friends’ next year. I’ve been making a lot of decisions and deciding against ‘just seeing what is happening’ because I don’t think I have control over my life. There is no point on pondering over this point any longer. I’m starting to believe everything will become apparent in what I’m supposed to do. If I’m to do anything at all.